


Oh God WHY ARE THE FLOORS STICKY

by RagnaRoxy



Category: Agents of Mayhem (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gangbang, M/M, Multi, Vandalism, nothing like fucking in an enemy base
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 21:57:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11998743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RagnaRoxy/pseuds/RagnaRoxy
Summary: Daisy gets an idea. fun ensues. LEGION raises their budget for janitorial services.





	Oh God WHY ARE THE FLOORS STICKY

Daisy's laugh rang out through the remains of the LEGION base, over the dead and the dying, and through her team's comms. she leaned on her minigun just before the exit elevator, her laughter fading to a slight wheeze.  
"shit man, that was fun. I ain't done fuckin' up their shit yet."  
"I know, right? LEGION chumps don't last as long as they should." Hardtack's warm growl cut through over the radio.  
"Kinda feel like I should do something more, though." A moment of silence passed as the wheels in her brain started turning. "Hey, uh, y'wanna help me desecrate a LEGION base by fuckin' in it?"  
another moment of silence went by and she almost kicked herself for yet another Daisy-brand moment of talk first, then think, but a few voices responded before she could open her mouth again.  
"Hell, why not."  
"Sounds like fun!"  
"I'm up for it if you are."  
she blinked, her brain taking a moment to register the responses.  
"Then what the fuck am I still talking here for? get your asses down here!"  
in a moment, her conspirators arrived. Hardtack, Joule, and Red Card appeared in a swarm of teleporter particles, wasting no time in either shedding various weapons and articles of clothing or finding a good spot of skin on the rollergirl to kiss or bite. she couldn't stop a delighted moan slipping from her lips as she relaxed back into one of her teammate's arms, allowing someone else to take her gun. she leaned her head back to kiss her unknown partner and found Red Card's lips. while it was a little awkward, she managed to continue the kiss and keep undressing, resulting in a tidy, yet quickly growing pile of armor at their feet.  
Joule took it on herself to claim Hardtack for a moment. she nuzzled into the crook of his neck, kissing her way up across anything that wasn't bearded. he nearly mirrored her moves, opting instead to nibble at the shell of her ear. hands began to wander, pushing up under the last few remnants of clothing between the two. He paused to fish a condom out of his discarded pants, Joule impishly snatching it from his hands before he had a chance to prepare himself. She sank to her knees, intent on showing him she was just as good with her mouth as she was with her hands. Hardtack clenched his teeth at the feeling of a warm mouth around his cock, lips and tongue working him to full mast, his hands unconsciously going to Joule's hair to coax her on. he nearly groaned when she pulled off of him, but the sensation quickly returned as she finally rolled the condom onto him with her mouth. kissing her way back up his stomach, she pulled him into another kiss, letting him pull a leg up around his waist and slip into her.  
Piper and Ingo were already busy with each other kneeling on the floor. the footballer nuzzled his way between her tits, dropping kisses down her skin to pull a nipple into his mouth. she moaned in encouragement, her hand slipping between the two of them to coax his already half-hard erection to full attention. Once she was satisfied with her handiwork, she lowered herself onto his length, her hunger barely tempered by the need to stop and get accustomed to his size. he muttered words of praise in his native tongue against her fevered skin, almost too quiet to hear above her thundering pulse. what felt like an eternity later, she finally took him in his entirety, and began to rock her hips. her moans only stayed soft for a few seconds before rising in pitch and fervor, echoing through the cold metal corridors of the base. He gripped her hips like a drowning man clinging to a piece of driftwood, bruises already starting to bloom under his fingertips. lost in passion, he drew a hand up to Daisy's mouth. she sucked on his fingers greedily, her eyes closed in concentration. after a few moments, he pulled his hand free, reaching to slip his slicked fingers down the cleft of his ass.  
"Hey Rotkapp, I got something better than a few fingers you could use." Hardtack's smile was positively filthy as he regarded the other couple. "Cosima, you mind if I help him out for a sec?"  
"it is such a beautiful sight seeing him coming undone. have fun, Amore."  
she gave him one last kiss before letting him slip out of her with a soft moan. "I think I've got something to help..." she fished around in her bag, deft fingers moving past flash drives full of blueprints, small pieces of scrap metal, stray bullets and snacks, until she found her prize, a small bottle of olive oil for aforementioned snacks, but also, in a pinch, fine machinery. she tossed it to Red Card, who caught it easily.  
"aw shit, does this mean I gotta move? I was enjoying this dick."  
"only for a moment, fraulein." He covered a few fingers with the oil, then began to prepare himself for the Sailor. She huffed, but finally relented, only letting a tiny moan of disappointment slip from her as she pulled herself off the footballer and crawled back to give them room.  
"You ready?" Hardtack breathed against the back of Red Card's neck. a shaky nod was all he needed, but the hand wrapped around his erection didn't hurt. he pressed his way into the other man with a groan, his hands moving almost automatically to find a nipple to play with. Ingo's ragged moan of pleasure sent a glorious shiver down Piper's spine as she waited for the two men to get situated. she leaned back in, alternating hungry kisses between the two of them before she straddled them again. Hardtack shifted his hips and bucked upwards just enough to hit a sweet spot, causing the other man to jerk his hips up unexpectedly and drive himself to the hilt back into Daisy. her ragged profanity was only muffled by biting into his shoulder, which spurred another groan of pleasure in a chain reaction. when she finally relaxed, she laid back onto her elbows to watch the spectacle of Ishmael and Ingo in front of her.  
Joule bit her lip, and wordlessly watched the three settle into each other. a lazy smile played across her face, one hand busying itself between her legs, the other absently stroking the handkle of the wrench in her nearby bag with salacious intent.  
"get the fuck over here, Bellini. you're not gonna fuck your wrench as long as I still have a perfectly good face." even on her back getting fucked senseless, Daisy's voice carried a note of cocky certainty. she was going to eat some pussy and she was not going to take no for an answer.  
thankfully instead of "no", Daisy got a face full of Italian inventor Snatch for an answer. she licked her lips and sighed in indulgent pleasure, feathering a light kiss against the other woman's bud before grabbing hold of her hips and running a long, slow lick across her folds.  
the moan that came from Cosima was almost musical, spurring the men to pick up their pace and buck a little bit harder. every thrust from Hardtack echoed through Red Card's body, into Daisy and finally through Joule. their world, for a moment, shrunk down to contain only them and their pleasure.  
a callused thumb reached down to rub hard and fast on Daisy's clit, lighting the fuse to an orgasm that had been smoldering for breathless minutes. her body arched as her walls shuddered and rolled along the length buried inside her, her moaned profanity lost between the other woman's thighs.  
Joule leaned forward, crashing her lips into Ingo's, hands scrabbling at his shoulders for stability. she moaned his name into his mouth along with her own torrent of colorful invective as the rollergirl's tongue brought her to the edge and over.  
Hardtack kept rubbing Daisy through her orgasm, his hand only stilling as his own climax boiled over and scorched through his nerves. he sunk his teeth into Red Card's shoulder, burying himself to the hilt inside the other man with one last decisive thrust.  
that was all the footballer needed. one last hard stroke against his prostate and he howled . it could have been their names, it could have been a half-choked cheer for Rudesheim, but his cry was so inarticulate no one could properly recall. his cock twitched as he came, spending himself deep inside the moaning, trembling mess that was up until very recently, and shortly would resume being, Piper "Daisy Cutter" Andrews. Everyone slumped against each other the best they could for a few minutes, too exhausted to move.  
a slightly muffled voice finally made it's way from under Cosima. "once i can feel my legs again, drinks are on me. in the meantime, round two?"

\-------------------------  
"And then Joule showed off how flexible she was, Hardtack made a bad joke about harpoons and poontang, Ingo DEFINITELY moaned a few soccer players' names, and I think I might have meowed a few times. got kinda hazy after I came for the fifth time. that answer your question as to why our comms were turned off, CAROL?" Daisy fumed.  
the HR manager sat speechless at her desk, eyes wider than the Professor Genki clock on her wall. "That was.....plenty more detail than needed for the incident report, Miss Andrews, but thank you for being so....thorough in your description of the events."

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually based on some in-game banter between Hardtack and Daisy where she apologizes for mentioning this orgy to Carol from HR. I figured it needed some backstory.  
> ALSO:  
> AGENTS OF MAYHEM SMUTWRITING IS SO FUCKIN’ GREAT  
> I CAN USE THEIR NAMES, CODE NAMES, AND GENERAL EPITHETS TO DESCRIBE THEM  
> EVERYTHING’S SO SPECIFIC AND STUPID IN EVERY SENTENCE ITS LIKE TWELVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE ARE FUCKING IF THE READERS DON’T KNOW WHO’S WHO (I'M KIND OF SORRY BUT I'M ALSO NOT)  
> I FUCKING LOVE IT  
> CHAOS! CONFUSION! PORN!


End file.
